What is separation anxiety?

Separation anxiety is over attachment and codependency resulting in an inability to cope when left alone. Caregivers of dogs don’t always recognize or find problematic the beginning signs of separation anxiety. For instance, affection-seeking or following around the house might seem endearing but it can evolve to extremes and is often the starting place for many other behavior problems. 

Symptoms can vary from dog to dog; barking, whining, destructive behavior, trembling, drooling, panting, and yawning are some of the commonly seen stress indicators. Time to work through separation anxiety can vary. Factors like how long the dog has lived in the home, previous issues with separation anxiety, the presence of other dogs in the home, work schedules, sudden changes in routine, age, genetics, and temperament of the dog all play a factor. 

Approach:

The key to working through separation anxiety is consistency and commitment to changing the dog’s relationship to be alone. It is critical that the work is done gradually but with constant forward-moving progress. A partial commitment feels much like pulling off the bandaid halfway, only to put it back on, and can prolong the distress for the dogs and people! 

Affection and relationship: 

Giving affection affirms a state of mind. We fall into the habit of petting our dogs unconsciously and all the time! A dog that is feeling anxious, wary, possessive, insecure, or pushy may nudge, lean, paw, or demand a pet. Please do not affirm these behaviors. Instead, to ensure engagement in the right state of mind, make sure that YOU call the dog up and initiate and end the pet. Only touch your dog when they are calm and do not invite excitement. Make these moments intentional, infrequent, and earned. Asking your dog to come up also allows the dog to give their consent for touch. 

Physical touch, talking to (including baby talk!), and eye contact, can all be forms of affection. Though it will be hard to limit affection, remember it is temporary and it is important to first disentangle codependency. Omitting affection for a period will help reset your dog’s relationship with you, let them feel less fear in your absence, and achieve a healthier more meaningful bond. Overall, it will be gentler and less confusing to the dog by not fueling this attachment by giving affection while we are conditioning independence. Reintroduction of affection will be done gradually across several weeks after they have made progress and shown they can handle it. 

Why does crate training matter when rehabilitating separation anxiety? 

Crate training normalizes independence from you. If your dog is not yet familiar with crate training, please see the crate training handout before moving on.

Please crate the dog:  

a) at night 

b) when left home alone 

c) throughout the day while you are home to normalize the crate and avoid association with your leaving 

While your dog is in the crate, practice moving around your house as you normally would but do make sure to be out of sight deliberately. Normalize distance and independence. 

Crate location: 

Your final location for the crate should be where the family most hangs out. This is most commonly the living room. If your dog is used to sleeping in your room, have them sleep in a crate in the bedroom for 1 or 2 nights. On night 2 or 3, move them to the hallway outside of the bedroom so that the crate is partially visible in the doorway. Move the crate further away each night until the dog is in the common area. 

Crating on the 3-hour rule:

1 hour in the crate, out to use the bathroom, then 2 hours of free time. Using this crate cycle will inhibit your dog’s access to you, normalize being in the crate when left, and overall help manage anxiety from growing. Use this schedule for several weeks until you see good progress and loosen gradually alongside improvement. 

If your dog is not yet house trained or reliable to not be destructive, your dog should remain on leash with you either holding the leash, stepping on the leash, and eventually dragging the leash when out of the crate. This schedule keeps everyone accountable, but can soon graduate to longer periods in the crate or out. 

Note: you don’t have to align your day to the 3 hour rule, you may leave (while the dog is crated) at any time, just restart the cycle again when you’re home. 

Enrichment:

Offering a safe, low value, chew-type of toy can aid but will not resolve the core issues of separation anxiety. For some dogs, a Benebone or frozen filled Kong can offer a distraction for a period of time, or simply give them something to do, however, it is common for dogs to reject enrichment in the early period.

Interrupting escalation: 

Without using any contact, the goal is to use sound to 'startle' the dog and stop their escalating behavior. Try to calibrate your correction just above the dog’s stress level. For instance, some soft dogs may be addressed with a simple “Eh-Eh!” However, a dog entering a panic state may require a loud sound correction. The aim is to stop the behavior at level 2 and not wait until the dog is at level 10. The risk of addressing it after the escalation is that your corrections may drive up their stress and intensity, or teach the dog to dismiss you. 

Tools: 

Sound maker (Gatorade bottle or plastic Tupperware with coins and pebbles), water spray bottle (an alternative to startling with sound), and optionally camera or video device like a laptop or iPad (so you can monitor, but don’t have to stand right outside the door).

Departing protocol: 

Prepare the dog in the crate and allow them to settle in 15-20 min before leaving. After 15-20 mins, follow your normal routine of putting on your shoes, grabbing keys, and leave bringing your tools out with you. Wait outside out of sight and totally silent. The dog should believe you have left.

Once you hear/see barking, howling, thrashing, crying, biting the crate, clawing, or digging, etc, rush in and shake the sound-maker paired with a firm “NO” or “HEY” addressing the dog. If necessary, rush toward the crate while correcting, however, immediately leave so the dog does not corrolate their distress with your return. 

Do not correct if your dog is working through it by panting, drooling, or whining, and only gently interrupt if whining is sustained. 

Timing 

The below increments are designed to allow your dog to achieve short periods in the crate AND away from you without entering high-stress levels. 

Day 1:   15 mins sessions --- 3x a day 

Day 2: 20 min session --- 3x day * If your dog was able to settle on the last session without extreme stress signals listed above, begin at 20 mins, otherwise start again at 15 mins.   

Day 3: 30 mins, 30 mins, 30 mins 

Day 4: 30 mins, 45 mins

Day 5. 45 mins, 45 mins

Day 6: 60mins, 60mins

Day 7: 90mins -- 1x 

What’s next? 

Leave your dog regularly every day. Duration and frequency can vary, but do continue to reinforce that it is normal for you to leave. Avoid big jumps between lots of together time and then sudden long stints of alone time without gradually getting them acclimated. 

Affection and normal interaction need to be introduced slowly and at the pace that your dog can handle. If you see their stress increasing as you leave, that is an indication that the affection may need to be pulled back. Remember, it’s not what is preferable or convenient for the person, it’s about helping the dog avoid distress. This routine will become intuitive and overall strengthen your relationship with your dog, offering you both balance and happiness. Separation anxiety can come back, and some dogs are more prone to relapse, so observe your dog’s state of mind as you continue to leave regularly and normalize independence.